A decent while ago I went to the annual Death Valley canyoneering meetup on President's Day, probably 2010 or so, maybe more than one year. I can't remember shit nowadays and I don't write anything down cause I forgot my pen at home so let's just say 2010. Anywho, since then I got more into cycling with my favorite aspect being touring. It took me a long time to be able to afford a touring bike and all the crap you need to do that without being a long range rolling shitshow. After touring for a lil while I got the idea that it would be great fun to ride to one of the President's Day events and do some canyons with my homies. One year I almost did it, but I guess some shit came up cause I didn't go. I remember that year they apparently experienced flooding in the desert and some other wild weather, so maybe I dodged a bullet, maybe dodged a supreme experience, who knows. Since I practically live off my bike nowadays since 2016-17ish my setup is pretty dialed and I'm good to go for most things, I asked for time off work (I'm a bike courier currently), told Danny of my plans, and started mapping a route.
I'll provide a simple summary of the route first, then delve into the details after.
The route I planned takes us from LA up over Cajon Pass to the 395 north to Ridgecrest. From RC, we go up Trona Wildrose Road to Death Valley. Canyoneering takes place, then we exit to the 127 south to Baker, to Kelso, to 29 Palms, Joshua Tree, and along the 247 north of the SB Mountains back to Cajon and home.
The part I dislike the most of any of my bike trips is leaving the greater LA megalopolis area. I think I've done all the options at least once before, and I'm sick of em all. The coast route going north through Malibu is old and has high traffic. Newhall Pass area through Santa Clarita and near the Grapevine is also real busy and not particularly pretty. I prefer going up the 39 past Crystal Lake to the 2 and down to the high desert, but the Bobcat Fire closure covers all that jazz so I'm shit outta luck on that unless I wanna go at night with lights off and risk a dumb ticket. This leaves Cajon Pass, which I find ugly and undesirable, and I've done it a half dozen times or so. A long low angle climb near the 15 on Cajon Blvd/Old 66 up to the 138 and other options would be our choice.
I left Pasadena around 5pm on Wednesday the 10th and headed to San Dimas to meet Danny. Dima met me along the way in Duarte and we rode the rest of the way together. We took Baseline and other streets east until Sierra or whatever that shoots north into Lytle Creek. From there you ride under the 15 to the road that takes you to Glen Helen, over a bridge, then make a left on Cajon and follow that north through the pass until it ends at the railway. One has several options here, and this time we went down to the freeway underpass thing the PCT runs under, then jump up to the McDonalds on 15/138. We jumped on the 138 east until you hit the old dirt road that I think used to be the first auto route through the pass. We camped not far from the 138 near some powerlines.
In the morning, we continued up until we got to Mariposa street or something and took that to the 15/395 junction area and got on the 395 north. We got food in Adelanto or whatever and began the long straight section on the 395 to Ridgecrest, where we would stay with Danny's brother. I've ridden the 395 a few times between Victorville and Adelanto and it's pretty chill with a good shoulder, but a bit dull. It gets real windy sometimes and there's a shiiiiiitload of free camping everywhere (you shouldn't have to pay to sleep on the fucking ground, fight me IRL), so just plan around wind I guess or just go. Don't let shit stop you from going and living. Anyway, made it to RC at sunset and it was dope to chill with everyone at the house and resupply at Walmart up there for cheap. We got bread and peanut butter, which is now the official food of Dune Apes I guess.
In the morning we headed east to Trona and got rained on a little bit. This was the only appreciable rain the entire trip, and I had full rain gear on me for the first time ever, so I used it and was humiliating nature as I rode dry and comfortably. I've never ridden through Trona or even really stopped there before, so I was looking forward to experiencing this town. Most everything we would visit was closed (dollar store), so we took some pics and kept moving. It was a long slow ride north out of there until that little pass where you drop into the Panamint Valley, which had a really awesome view and a fun descent down to the bottom. My original plan was to take this road to its end at the 190 and head east into Death Valley, but Dima mentioned Emigrant Pass, which is higher but cooler. We decided that was the manly way to do it, the real Dune Ape experience, so we took it up into the night and it was worth the extra work. Almost zero traffic up to the pass, followed by a descent that took us from the pass at 5318ft down to Stovepipe Wells around sea level. Super dope. Very fun descent. Once you hit the 190 the pavement becomes smooth as silk and it's a little bit of a strange experience as your tires suddenly make no noise and you simply glide along effortlessly into a vast dark valley. We stopped at the now closed store around 2130/930pm or so and waited to meet up with my buddy Justin, who would be canyoneering with us. I was a little worried about communications since I expected no reception in DV, but there's cell service at Stovepipe, and he said he was on the way and should be there around 2200/10pm. We chilled at the bench and used the bathrooms, filled our water bottles, and had dinner, and he showed up with Eileen. We made our plans to meet up in the morning and camped in our spots.
We got up in the morning and met at Stovepipe, hid and locked our bikes away from the road behind a bunch of bushes, and headed west along Cottonwood Canyon Road to go check out Inconcievable Canyon: http://www.bluugnome.com/cyn_route/dv_i ... vable.aspx
It was a fun canyon with an easy approach and hike out. Something like 10 rappels with a few 175-200ft'ers in there, a few interesting DV anchors, and so on. Thanks again to Justin for handling the planning on this, since all I told him was I wanted to do some chill canyons, which can be left very open to interpretation. Eileen also helped out a lot with running the canyon, and it was nice to be mostly hands off for once, though I felt a bit guilty. I think it was a perfect canyon for this trip. We made it back to Stovepipe around 8pm to find the store closes at 7, minor bummer, so we made plans to meet here the next day to possibly do a second canyon. We met the next morning and decided to ride out instead of doing another canyon. Justin took our gear we no longer needed (including my rain gear), saving us lots of weight and bulk, and we rode towards Badwater.
The valley was quite crowded, maybe more than I've ever seen it, but it wasn't a problem on a bike. We got a real good tailwind that made the ride south very easy. We got real lucky with that. Sometimes you get a tailwind, and sometimes you get a headwind and things become harder and take significantly longer. It seems like a roll of the dice, and there were high wind warnings or whatever this weekend so we hit the optimal outcome. We had a ton of water with us (up to 11 liters) to take us to Shoshone. The ride along the bottom of Lake Manly is real cool with rollers (short ups and downs) and looooooong straight sections where you can see forever. This trip gave a new sense of scale as you could see so far away that you would see a mountain range you'd circle the next day off in the distance. It was all about going over the next horizon, long gradual climbs and long descents.
When one heads south on Badwater, one reaches a fork in the road. Continuing south would take you on a dirt road which would hit the 127 south of Ibex Dunes. We made a left up and over Jubilee Pass and then Salsbury Pass, with a short descent in between. Two more passes in the bag. These desert passes seem real gradual and long, unlike a lot of mountain passes which can be very steep and slow. The sun set on the way to Salsbury Pass, so we hit the descent to 127 in the dark, with some ups and downs along the way. From the intersection, it's only about a mile south to Shoshone, where we bought some gas station food and figured out where to sleep. We found a spot hidden just off the road near a maintenance station south of town and slept well. In the morning we went to breakfast at the Crowbar Cafe and Saloon, where we got some delicious omelettes and coffee. Our server was a real fun dude and gave us ice water for our bottles as well. Big recommend. Super service and excellent food. I hope to try one of their burgers someday.
Our next task was reaching Baker, somewhere we've all driven through before but never loitered around. The ride had more traffic due to Dumont Dunes being a hub of OHV activity, so we had lots of RV's and toy haulers passing us all day. Whoever does marketing and names these units is, uh, a little bit off. Dumb names like ATTITUDE! and Stealth and all these other pointless names for these huge things. What's so stealthy about a white toy hauler 40ft long? Whatever. We got to see em all. Despite the traffic it wasn't stressful and everyone was chill. We went up and over Ibex Pass which was quite nice and began our final slog to Baker, reaching the goal before sundown. Danny and Dima got Mexican food and I raided the dollar menu at Del Taco, getting 6 burritos for less than $8 I think. I was nearly broke on most of this trip so I had to make it count, and I eat their dollar menu often during the week since my daily life involves tons of calories and riding. Del Taco, please don't eliminate your dollar menu, you keep hobos like me alive. We crossed the 15 and slept on the other side with some light to moderate wind. I smoked one of my $1.50 cigars and went to sleep.
In the morning we woke up a little late since the Mexican place opened at 9am, so we rode over before then and bought more water and then some breakfast burritos. These burritos kept me going all day, surprisingly. A nice change from eternal hunger struggle. After breakfast, we began the long and slow (but pleasant) climb towards the pass north of Kelso Junction. You see your first Joshua Trees on this stretch, and you pass some ancient black cinder cones on the left. Smoke Trees, Cholla, washes, and the possibility of tortoises welcome you to Mojave Preserve. Very low traffic would be the norm here, a welcome change from our daily lives. The pass north of Kelso is calm and unassuming, and I hadn't noticed we had a long 12 mile descent ahead. We sat, ate some PB sandwiches, and stretched.
I will remember the descent for the rest of my life. It rolls southeast before turning dead south and the views open up into a positively massive valley with beautiful mountain ranges all around you. Kelso Depot is a tiny spot at the bottom that you're speeding towards, but seemingly never getting closer to. Kelso Dunes appears in the far distance, and the limestone cliffs of the Providence Mountains beg to be climbed to your south southeast. We tucked in for the descent and stabilized our loaded bikes with huge smiles across our faces as we bombed down like happy apes. Truly an amazing descent, one I hope to repeat someday, perhaps. We have been saying "we out here" for a while now, in reference to silly things people say in online videos, and on this descent I ride alongside Danny for a second and he says "Maximum out here!". Truth. The depot gets closer and closer and I slowly apply my brakes while exclaiming my satisfaction to my place on this planet and we calmly roll into the Depot. We took a break, ate some food, I closed myself in the jail, and we watched a train roll through before heading to Kelso Dunes, the nexus of Dune Ape power.
Our little bike and activity club is called Dune Ape Bike Squad. I came up with the idea for this name on a tour in Oregon before a huge 300 mile day. I reached the coast from Albany Oregon and came across a cafe called the Dune Cafe in Florence Oregon. At that point I was lightly bonking so I couldn't see quite straight, so I thought it said the Dune Ape at first. I conjured up a story of how highly-territorial tan gorillas lived on the beach dunes there, terrorizing humans who encroach on their sands, travelling in small packs and stunting on anyone unfortunate enough to be caught in their sights. Thus the idea was born, and implemented as a relatively-informal bike club upon my return to LA. Upon realizing we could go up into Kelso Dunes on this day, I realized this would be the nexus of Dune Ape power, and that there would be no way we could get away with not going there and absorbing the limitless powers of the universe, which gives us a +200 stamina boost, +40 perception, -100 pain, and other perks. Also, I'd never been there and had wanted to see it since I was a little kid, hearing about the booming sand and all that shit. We hid and locked our bikes beyond the trailhead, crammed things in our pockets, and hiked to the top of the tallest dune, reaching the summit at sunset. Perfect. We ran down the steepest part of the south face and heard some of the booming as the grains slid against each other in layers. Real dope. Really awesome experience. Normally I don't care about this stuff but I'm glad we did it.
We changed layers and reorganized at the little bathroom there and headed up to Granite Pass. It got dark and I got hungry, and it got quite cold at the pass. I hoped to camp near the top but it was real cold and windy and there were tons of cacti so that wasn't smart. We went downhill a little bit and camped in a wash. I rewarmed and knocked out. The morning brought a long descent down Amboy Road to National Trails Highway, where we turned into a stiff headwind and managed 6-11mph into Amboy. Roy's was open, which I hadn't expected, so we got snacks before riding south across the lakebed with a tailwind pushing us. We got up to 25mph on the section of Amboy Road that heads south southeast, and began another long climb up to the Sheephole Mountain Pass at about 2375ft. The descent down the other side got us to 40-45mph or so, and then another right turn directly into a strong headwind, making the ride to 29 Stumps real long and a little unpleasant. I didn't know people lived along this route and it was pretty bleak.
I bought a huge bag of McChickens in 29 Stumps while the boys got ice cream I can't digest. Man, that ice cream looked so good. The wind died down as we headed west to Joshua Tree and we made acceptable progress into town to eat at the Indian restaurant, which was delicious and a nice change. We camped just off the main drag. In the morning we went west to the Yucca Valley Walmart for some supplies before riding up the steep and short climb to Flamingo Heights. We made slow progress for a bit but it picked up a little on the way to Johnson Valley. There was a sign declaring the 247 cafe had the "greatist" burgers on Earth, so I had to give that a shot. It was good, maybe not the "greatist", but I was satisfied. They had Trump flags and stuff, and nobody was wearing a mask. I don't really care either way, though I think Trump was a retard (I haven't seen a politician I don't hate), but I felt they thought I was an idiot for wearing a mask into the cafe. Didn't bother me beyond describing it here. Maybe someday I'll own a loudass Harley and smell of Camels and whiskey. Please remind me of this system where other humans assume you must be red or blue and not something completely different. I try to ride away from this shit. Anyway, here I am making things worse. Let's talk about bike shit.
We decided we'd try for home that night instead of camping near Cajon Pass. We headed out and shortly afterwards Danny got a flat. His tires were pretty worn from their 6 month life and a section on the rear got pregnant. The outer layer of rubber separated from the carcass of the tire or whatever the main body is called, leaving a pocket of air. We pulled the tire off (tubeless), dumped the sealant on the ground, and put a tube in with a layer of Gorilla tape reinforcing the pregnant part. This lasted until we put new tires on last night (the 19th). Riding west took us through Apple Valley where night fell, and hit Hesperia Road to Santa Fe, which turns into Summit Valley Road and ends at the 138. Plenty of commuter traffic heading the other way from the city. Dima finally got a flat from a goathead on the 138, so I ate a PB sammich while he put a new tube in and we went to the gas station at the 15. I slammed a Redbull and we repeated the PCT underpass route to the 66 down into the city, where we picked our way west to home. We dropped Danny off in San Dimas, then Dima and I rode to Azusa where I went south to Wet Covina and he rode all the way to LA, logging quite a few miles.
My numbers recorded on Strava are as follows:
Day -1 WC to Pasadena 27mi 840 gain
Day 1 Pasadena to Cajon 69mi 4600
Day 2 Cajon to RC 98mi 3500
Day 3 RC to Stovepipe 98mi 6100
Day 4 Canyoneering - no #'s recorded
Day 5-6 Stovepipe to Baker 157mi 7500
Day 7-8 Baker to JTree 152mi 9400
Day 9 JT to home 139mi 4300
Total 740mi 36,240ft gain
NOTES:
-I carried two front panniers on a Tubus lowrider rack. My bike's geometry didn't like that very much so handling was compromised above 30mph, especially when it was windy. I normally very much enjoy going as fast as I can downhill but was unable to on this trip. Not a big deal really, but I will likely not bring panniers on my next big trip, instead using my 24 pack rack and porterhouse bag up front and my current Roadrunner Jumbo Jammer bag on the back.
-I got one decent saddle sore on my left buttcheek and will try using my sprung Brooks B67 saddle for a while, and possibly on my next big trip. I used my Brooks B17 saddle on this trip, and it is my daily driver saddle.
-I used slightly racier tires than normal, not really on purpose, they were just what I had on. Vittoria Terreno Dry 650x47. The rear wore quickly and I rotated them yesterday at home. I normally use Specialized Sawtooth 650x47's which I highly recommend as they're very capable and last a long time, and they don't have weak sidewalls, which is critical in the San Gabes due to rocks on the unpaved roads which have killed other tires I've used on 650b and 700c bikes. I would like a Schwalbe super long life tubeless 650x47-50ish tire with Marathon Supreme rubber but a tread pattern like the Sawtooth as my dream tire. I would gladly pay $75 each for tires like that which last about a year. I run tubeless nowadays after being stubborn about not doing it and it saves me tons of time as I almost never get flats. Setup can be a pain in the ass but it's very very worth it if you ride long distances nearly daily as I do (60mi per day 4+ days per week).
-I used an Aegismax down sleeping bag, probably rated to 40* on this trip, in conjunction with a Sea to Summit Thermal Bivy and my Klymit Recon whatever pad. The pad was perfect, but my feet were cold even with the bivy with the lows being in the 30's at the coldest on this trip. Next time I should bring thicker wool underpants and my comfy bigass wool bivy socks to increase warmth. There was condensation in the bivy sack which got the sleeping bag wet in the morning, but as we woke up after sunrise this wasn't a big deal as I could let the sun dry out both the bag and sack as I packed other things. Bag is stinky now though! Gotta wash it. I wore my 800 fill down jacket while sleeping and was very warm upstairs. Again, thicker long underpants and warmer socks would've done the trick while taking up slightly more space. Still doable without front panniers.
-Canyoneering gear brought to DV was a Black Diamond Alpine Bod harness, some lockers and non lockers, an ATS device, and La Sportiva lightweight approach shoes with a BD Distance running/climbing vest-pack. We wore our bike helmets so we didn't need to bring climbing helmets, which seemed sensible and remains so in my mind as impact resistance is still there. Climbing helmets are better for rockfall but this was not an issue, thankfully. I would repeat this decision in the future. Bringing this kit was what pushed me to bring panniers, otherwise I would've gone rackless.
-I carried 4 water bottles on the bike, plus a 3 liter Osprey brand camelbak type bladder with hose in the frame bag, as well as a Hydrapack 3l bladder, 1.5l Evernew bottle, and two small 500ml soft flasks. Plenty of water.
-Osprey bladder has a stiff panel to keep the shape when in a pack. I think I can get a regular 3l bladder to fit in the bottom part of my frame bag (which has a velcro divider). This would allow better organization of my shit in my frame bag where I keep food I need quick access to as well as gloves, hats, and so on.
What I liked:
-First tour tubeless. Small punctures usually requiring a patch or tube seal very quickly with minimal air loss.
-Peanut butter and bread - very good food source. PB is somewhat expensive at $4-5 per tub, but lasts for a few days. Bread is cheap. Solid solution to the everlasting food 'discussion' or whatever. I also brought honey, which was delightful. I typically ate several spoonfuls of PB with some honey after finishing bread each meal.
-Friends - I normally tour solo. Really nice to have my good buddies on this trip to share the moments with. They also helped me financially when I was very low on funds, and Dima helped with some critical administrative duties and route selection that I wouldn't have been able to accomplish alone. Thanks guys.
-Aerobars were great for relieving numb hands and giving an aero position for an extra 1-3mph and easier pedaling during flat and low angle sections of riding. Highly recommended. Bars are raised 50mm/2in above handlebars to relieve pressure on neck (look up Shermer's Neck). Holes in extensions made whistling sounds so I wrapped the ends in bar tape when I got home cause the sound got old after a few days, and sweaty hands slip a bit on bare aluminium. Aero bar position means no access to brakes/shifters, so less control. Keep that in mind. Perfectly fine when no obstacles/threats present.
-First tour with dyno hub and lighting. SON 28 hub powers a Sinewave Beacon headlight/charger unit and Supernova tail light. Removes the big stress of lighting and batteries on a tour. Makes me much more relaxed, and when I do my next solo tour it'll be moreso as I enjoy long rides that go through the night. Battery powered lights often only last 3-5 hours and sometimes night is 12hrs long so you do the math. See and be seen.
-Yo, furreal doe, the fucking dyno setup is one of the best investments ever. Been riding with it for almost a year now and it makes my life so much easier. Don't worry about drag and output and all that shit, just buy it. It's expensive as hell ($1,500 ballpark for wheels and lights etc), but if your bike is your car and/or you tour a lot, it's an amazing investment.
-Ritchey Venturemax Ergo drop bars - the ergo part is awesome for descents, taking the pressure off your hands. My bars got bent in two recent crashes, so I will replace these bars in the future with the newer version of the same bars, which have a flat top section for comfort and are a fair amount wider for better control. I am a tall guy and like wider bars. Drop bars are usually too limiting for offroad and technical terrain so that'll be nice.
-Triple wrapped bar tape with gel pads - I will likely shift the gel pads back a little more in line with my wrists and hands next time I have to wrap my bars. I rarely get numbness anymore and I have massive gorilla hands (XL gloves are often too small by a fair amount), so more padding to increase bar diameter helps. I wish more people made thicker handlebars.
-You know how PCT'ers and other hikers wrap duct tape around their poles for fixing shit? I have Gorilla tape wrapped around parts of my rear bikepacking bag rack support thing and that came in handy multiple times. I suggest doing something similar. You can wrap some around your seatpost or seatstays. Used some to patch a weak spot in Danny's tire, and some other minor field repairs. Do that.
-ESEE knives Avispa folder, D2 steel - real good knife for regular tasks and especially cooking. Light and thin and keeps an edge well enough that it didn't need sharpening. I think I paid $40 for it and got it specifically for cooking and fieldcraft and I use it to dice veggies and meat weekly. I collect knives and have had some very expensive ones and I think this is a super super good buy for $40. I carry it everyday and will bring it on the next tour.
-Seat to Summit long handle spoon - designed to get into bags of dehydrated food you add boiling water to. Works great for PB jars and so forth. Really good piece of kit. Misplaced my sporks so I got one for cheap and I like it. Used it often.
-Patagonia sun shirt - real handy, wore it nearly daily, got no sunburn. It became stiff and gross with sweat but still didn't smell bad! I think it was treated for that but I wore it almost everyday last summer for commuting and fun riding and it's still not stinky despite washing it a lot. Maybe it's not treated. Either way, solid.
What I disliked, and solution:
-Tires wore quickly. Use Sawtooths next tour.
-Front rack and panniers = instability. Use front and rear bags, no harness/canyoneering kit dependent.
-Saddle sore (life constant for me as commuter/courier). Use B67 instead of B17 next time.
-Dyno doesn't charge my bigass Anker battery very fast, but nothing does. Bring charging block to plug into outlets on tour (no brainer but I left it behind this time). Even plugged into a wall, battery takes hours to charge, so not shitting on the dyno setup but this was my first time charging the battery and stuff off it so it opened my eyes. Will read more on what system works best when I don't have a grid to plug into for more than a few days. Minimizing use of phone and other tools is critical.
-Juin Tech cable actuated hydraulic brakes, two piston model - I like em but they require adjustments rather frequently. I use cable brakes due to my drivetrain setup and because it's the most bulletproof for my lifestyle and habits. I will likely switch to TRP Spyre/Spyke in the future. This isn't a big deal but something I foresee changing in the future as a low-priority.
-Right foot kept going numb in the afternoon. Shoes are old and have a billion miles on em so it's likely they're just wearing out. I have gel insoles in em and sometimes comfy socks. I may also be pushing funny or something. Will have to wear my replacement shoes and try things to find a solution.
I'm sure there's more I will add later, but that's all for now. Dima will be adding some stuff soon and Danny might as well.
Thanks guys, go out and have a good time and don't let anybody tell you shit.
DUNE APES
RIDE, OR DON'T
